Anger is a normal emotion for children and adults alike. Anger essentially is the response to someone or something that has caused hurt or wronged us in some way. The responses vary from individual to individual. Understanding there are differences in ways people cope with anger becomes very important for the parent trying to teach her child anger management techniques.
First, it is important to teach kids about what anger is and why people get angry.
What Causes Anger
Common reasons people get angry include:
- Nobody listens until I get angry
- It helps me get what I want
- He/she excluded me
- I just got frustrated
- I was sick of being teased
- I get excited when I get angry
It is equally important that kids discover why they are angry, whether it be a result of a stressful event or anger that may have built up over time.
When teaching kids about how to control their anger, it is vital to be a good listener and be empathetic. Listening to the child's view point becomes critical to understanding where the anger stems from. It also helps determine if there are other underlying feelings and emotions.
Teach Children That Anger is Normal
Being aware of the physical indications of anger such as increased heart rate, clenched fists, and flushed skin only helps the child recognize the signs of anger both in others and in themselves. They come to understand that anger is a normal emotion that all of us have to deal with from time to time.
When kids are taught that it's okay to be angry, they are less likely to keep their emotions bottled inside. Yet it is still imperative they learn how to cope.
Coping With Anger
- Admit you are angry
- Identify and understand the cause of your anger
- Calm down
- Walk away
- Think about it later and maybe get a new perspective
- Talk to people you trust
How to talk to someone who makes you mad:
- Speak in a relaxed and normal voice tone. Stay calm.
- Be direct and specific about what is bothering you. Tell them how it made you feel.
- Ask them what you want (to stop the teasing, to be friends, etc.)
Health ways to redirect anger:
- Exercise (get involved in a sport)
- Find a hobby
- Put your energy into something you care about
- Creative activities (art projects, writing, etc)
Teaching your child that anger is normal and that everyone responds to anger in different ways helps your child find the coping strategies that work best for him or her. This only encourages his or her growth into a happy well adjusted adult.
Source:
A Guide to Psychology & Its Practice. "Anger" (accessed September 24, 2010).
Jenny Hildenbrandt - I received my B.A. degree in psychology and obtained a M.S. degree in the field of school counseling. I am currently working as an ...
